Satisfied

Alone I cried
Simply i shed away Tears
And i lied
I am okay
I am alive
Feelings i casted aside
The hugs i wanna leave behind
And i am shy
Once My heart In your arms
stopped and died

I was to you so cheap
You knew where the wound is
And you just kept and still keep
Stabbing me in the same place
With every No you hurt so deep
I am feeling cold
All i want is to sleep
Like a fetus Twisting around
like a creep

I made you out of a stranger
Sculptured you into a danger
Into a dangerous steep
That once i lured in
Along my sweep
I sculptured you into my death
Into a Gravestone on my heap

I casted away dust
And i lied
I am okay
And Feelings casted aside
I have burned my ships behind
Got into the jungle of your lies
And My heart In your arms
stopped and died
There were some hugs
I wanted to leave behind
I died
And you are my Gravestone
Finally i am satisfied!

Ghada Rustom

Meet me at 3 AM

Meet me at 3 am on WhatsApp
I wanna just see you online
To make sure you are breathing
I will pick and get the sign

And down to my spine
Down to my spine
I shiver from your icy heart
Where you drew a mighty line

Meet me at 3 am with your lies
I can’t get my eyes closed
I can’t breath in the tides
In this : once we crossed a road

And down to my spine
Down to my spine
I shiver from your icy heart
I am paralyzed with your wine

And down to my spine
Down to my spine
I yearn to that hug
To a brown embrace like a pine
I cry for that hug
That never happened
that wasn’t once mine 

Meet me at 3 am
looking at the same star
From our windows
Keep me in your soul as a rose
That once hurted me fine

Ghada Rustom

Such A Dancer

I am looking into the screen
I am a soul waiting for an answer
Not an empty conversation
I am a patient of your cancer
The cancer of your ignoring
And what is running from my eyes
Are tears
and in the rain they are such a dancer!

Tears are dancing in my eyes
Remorsing the pain of your lies
Of the times that you kept me waiting
And they don’t know anymore
Which is your face and which is the disguise

I asked to see you but you refused
I wanted a one time defense
But i was a toy of your mood
I am chained to this empty device
To a lonely conversation by you was abused!
I am a soul
I am a stupid heart you called it once rude.

My feelings are always genuine
I am not a number to delete !
Not a contact
I am a highway
An old street
That is full of memories
of histories that they repeat
I am not a ringtone
I am a heartbeat !
I am a soul that never repeats

Behind the screen
I am waiting for your answer
I am covered with smoke and tar
You are crushing my mind like a panzer
And what is running from my head
Is my first impression of you
and in the rain it is such a dancer!
Just answer
Just answer
You are fake
Just don’t answer

Ghada Rustom

In Love A gain

Oh mother that’s hurts
Your daughter is in love again!..
Just like a muted question
With no answer
Like a lonely dance in the rain..
a crying arm that misses it’s watch
Yearned to the embrace and the vein!
Your daughter is in love again

Oh dear that’s hurts
I am in love again .
A total desert around a plane..
No skies no water and no blue
Surrounded by cactuses and pain..
And i am drowning in sand
Like a wild horse with a chain..
Nothing is to blame
I am not sane
Your daughter is in love again…

Ghada Rustom

Don’t flee I am a patient of OCD

Looking lonely that it would be..
Thinking of your face
that i yearn to see..

We agreed to meet
Along we agree..
Just to solve the problem
That we were Fighting about
I know there were so many doubts
Fake pulses and a zero degree
I wanna look in your eyes
To see us to see we !
The ones i wanted to see
The one who made us three!
In this suffocating misery
And then if i had to lose for you
I will lose..
You are the winner
You are the muse
You are the sign V

I paid my mistakes in this sickness
I paid the fee
The price of a wrong memory
I am clean now
Give me your hands they are the key
To all my crisis
To all the nightmares i wanna set free
To all the illusions in my head
Let me be me

staring into the walls
Nothing could awake my eyes
From the medication noise
But your voice
But those Small brown eyes like an old tree

On an table between you and me
An Orphan rose
A cup of coffee and a cup of tea
And you embracing my hands
over a white sheet
They say Please don’t flee
Your mama is a patient of an OCD!

Ghada Rustom